Conversations about the religious and spiritual life on the other side of fundamentalism
122: C. Jane Kendrick:  Life Under the Spotlight

122: C. Jane Kendrick: Life Under the Spotlight

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Photography by Jed Wells

C.Jane (Courtney) Kendrick needs very little by way of introduction.  An uber popular ‘mommy’ blogger (she doesn’t like to be called a mommy blogger) Courtney began blogging ten years ago beginning with intimate posts about her experience with infertility, marriage and eventually motherhood. In 2008 C.Jane won the Best Major blog award for the Weblog Awards. More recently C.Jane hosts a popular music festival in Provo called The Rooftop Concert series.

C.Jane has also been columnist for the Deseret News and has also been published at Segullah, Sunstone and The Arizona Republic.

In this podcast we discuss Courtney’s early years and meander through her life all the way to her more recent faith crisis.


  1. Beth

    I have followed CJane for years and have enjoyed watching her evolve as a woman, wife, mother and church member. So much of what she has faced I have also faced. I wish her the best in her life!

  2. Gina that was one of the most delightful gigs. Hubby came in with roses in the middle of the podcast so the second half was even more delightful.

    I didn’t know who C.Jane was or is until listening to this. Being childless means you avoid some things. An orgasmic birth sounds rather intriguing. That had to take hours of work to prepare fore. Hmm maybe she should do another podcast on that process. I loved that the two of you could giggle.

  3. Dave Dixon

    Thank you both for a great discussion. I really would have liked to hear more about C. Jane’s experience with the Deseret News. Have you blogged about that, or would you be willing to comment on going through the editorial process with them?

  4. Capricorn

    I really enjoyed this interview. I totally relate to your experiences of feeling some sadness when you see young Mormons rush into marriage and parenthood. I also relate to the struggle of going to church once you have begun to shift so much in your views. I straddled that line for a year. Now we attend a Protestant church, but I have to say, the struggle is still there under the surface. I just needed to be able to take my kids to church and not cry. C Jane, thanks for sharing your story!

    Gina, I’m a Capricorn and so is my husband. What does it mean for us?! 🙂

  5. Kim

    Great interview! I loved everything about it, and I could relate to her experience regarding gender roles in the church and especially her birthing experiences. I, too, have had hospital births and a home birth. CJane was able to so eloquently put into words thoughts and feelings that I cannot articulate. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Jen

    Wonderful interview! I loved it so much. I’ve followed Courtney for years and have enjoyed her insights.
    So I’m a cancer my husband is Sagittarius … What does that say about us? 😉

  7. Nicole

    Two of my very favorite female voices on the internet… together… discussing things near and dear to my heart?! Joy explosion!
    Thank you so much for this interview. It spoke to my soul and it made me laugh out loud right along with the two of you.
    The work you both do is outstanding and I am in awe of your courage and ability to make things happen.

  8. Tiffany

    I really enjoyed this pod-cast. I have been reading CJane’s blog for a number of years nd find her writing so real and refreshing. So much of what she has written with I have connected to. I have grappled with a number of the same issues as Courtney, and although I came to different conclusions than her and remained in the church, I really appreciate her point of view and an understanding of how and why she has evolved in what she believes and the direction she is going. I hope someday when her life is not as crazy and she is more settled she will return to blogging, because her writing is AMAZING!!!

    1. Jill

      Amazing interview Gina and C. Jane. Thanks! I’ve spent a lot of time this week reading your blog C. Jane and am so impressed! Keep writing however you feel inspired. I wish you peace in your heart and beliefs. I just went to a beautiful and powerful women’s leadership meeting today (orem south area). It was 3 hours of general conference like talks all from women – general authority’s wives, temple president matron and orem mission president wife – no men anywhere 🙂 The stand was full of women 🙂

      Also, Gina, sorry to leave 3 of the same comments, they weren’t showing up on my phone . . you can delete the duplicate two and give my email to Tiffany.

  9. Emily Wilkes

    What a great podcast. So much of what Courtney had to share at the end about her journey within the LDS religion has flavors of my own journey 3 years ago. There is so much heartache, joy, confusion and peace when your eyes start to open and you find yourself so unsure about a culture and faith that has been so intricately intertwined with your life since birth. I found myself at a point where I could no longer stay and it has been the absolute best decision for me, but we each have to figure out what the best decision is for us in our own time and in our own way.

  10. Sally

    I have been listening to your podcasts the past several days. This one was such fun! Gina, you are a wonderful host, and all of the interviews have been outstanding! Thank you for all your work!

  11. Your interviews always seem to hit a place in my soul. I can surely relate to Courtney’s account of her first marriage.

    As a gay woman, getting married in the Church, to a man, was the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do. I told my closest people that I would rather be dead than to have to get married. I, though, felt enormous pressure- not that I blame anyone because, ultimately, I was the one who chose- by my family and my religion to get married. I was a returned missionary. I had my degree from University. They wanted me married. I tried telling them no. But, I did not try hard enough.

    In the Salt Lake temple that morning, if someone had said, “Duck, here is a nickle. Take it and you can shoot yourself right here and now”, I would have taken it.

    In a heartbeat.

    As the ceremony began, I glanced around. I thought, “There’s Mom. And Dad. Everyone’s here. You know you want to stop this. But, you can’t do that to them.” (Heaven forbid that I would think what it might do, DID do, to me.) When the ceremony came to, “Duck, do you take this man? ” I wanted to SHOUT “N.O.!!” I, instead, barely whispered “yes”.

    Some six weeks in, I knew that if I stayed in that so-called ” marriage “, I would blow my brains out. I wanted to live. So I left. And, like Courtney, I never looked back.

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